Oct 29

How To: Live A Champagne Life on a Beer Budget

I like to indulge in little luxuries every now and then. Some fancy-pants coffee, a $30 scented candle, or something equally rad, yet non-essential. Sadly, I cannot afford to bathe in champagne (which is probably good, because, STICKY), but with a little thought and care, I can indulge in something special now and then. I’m used to living a champagne life on a beer budget. This is how I do it.

Here’s how I live a champagne life on a beer budget.

How To: Live A Champagne Life on a Beer Budget: Coffee. I don’t go to Starbucks. Why? Isn’t hating Starbucks Anti-American? Nah. I kinda think Starbucks brews coffee too bold, bitter, and tastes like burning. I brew my coffee at home, using my preferred blend (everyone’s got one, right?), throw in some half and half, and I’m one happy girl. That’s an easy six bucks a cup saved right there, plus I’m not adding to the landfill with all those paper cups.

How To: Live A Champagne Life on a Beer Budget: Scented Candles. I totally dig the atmosphere that scented candles add to my home. There’s something about the flickering light, the delightful aromas, the relaxation and stuff, but I can’t afford $30 candles. What I did find that I can afford is a warmer from WalMart ($3), a package of 100 tealights ($4), and the $2/pack wax cubes to go in the top. Those cubes last for days, and the package of tealights lasts for weeks. I get all the benefits of the luxuries of scented candles without the expense (or mess).

How To: Live A Champagne Life on a Beer Budget: Bubble Baths. I love a good bubble bath. No, I’m not an old-ass woman, don’t get me wrong. Problem is, I can’t afford $15 (or more) for a small bottle of bubbles that smell oh-so-good. So I wait until one of those bath stores has their sale where they’re clearing out the bottles of discontinued scents, or a holiday sale, and I stock up. You can score some fabulous and spendy lotions, creams, bubble baths, body sprays, and other sundries — without the spendy total.

How To: Live A Champagne Life on a Beer Budget: Consignment Stores. I can’t say enough awesome stuff about consignment stores. Remember when Carrie Bradshaw (Sex in the City reference!) paid $398 bucks for a pair for her Manolos? Those were the good old days. These days, you can’t find Manolos for that price. We’re talking $800 or more. My underemployed ass certainly can’t afford that. Or can I? You would be shocked at what people consign. Unworn designer clothes with the four-figure price tags still attached. Shoes and boots that don’t look like they’ve ever been worn, or worn for one night. I’ve gotten leather Manolo sandals, snakeskin Dolce & Gabbana pumps, and leather Moschino mules for around the same price Dillard’s and Macy’s get for Steve Madden or Jessica Simpson man-made patent shoes. I once got a brand-spanking new pair of Ferragamo loafers for under $10. Don’t let the ick factor deter you. Those brand-new Madden pumps have been on somebody’s foot before, when a woman tried them on. Same goes for clothes. Women try on clothes and then don’t buy them. How is that any grosser than buying a professionally-cleaned designer garment in a consignment store?

I frackin’ love this site:




How To: Live A Champagne Life on a Beer Budget: Smoothies. Sunshine and I make our own smoothies instead of spending chain-smoothie prices for them. This is rad because it actually saves me money on skincare, because I know there are no ingredients in them that will break me out (damned allergies). The added benefit is that we snack on the fresh fruits instead of buying cookies and shit, so we’re theoretically healthier.

Being healthy? That’s also living the good life.

This site can offer some amazing deals:


How do you afford the champagne life on a beer budget? What luxuries do you indulge in (on the cheap?)
Oct 25

How To: Clean With Baking Soda

One of the more important things I’m learning about living life on the frugal side is that many things can be used for multiple purposes - like vinegar, which not only makes my sandwiches delicious, but also can be used to clean everything from toilets to coffeemakers, which is pretty full of the awesome. Another one of the green cleaning products I’m learning about is baking soda; specifically, how to clean with baking soda.

First, what the nuts is baking soda (besides something used for baking)? Baking soda, or sodium hydrogen carbonate, is a chemical compound, a white solid often sold as a fine powder. It’s often used as a way for bakers to make their delicious treats rise in the oven, and can be used in the laboratory to neutralize both acids and bases. But that’s neither here nor there.

how to clean with baking soda

That’s what baking soda looks like. Except with less balls.

Baking soda is a rad cleaning agent for a number of reasons:

  1. It’s non-toxic, even in large amounts.
  2. It’s green – which means that it also won’t hurt the enviornment
  3. It’s cheap as fcuk.
  4. It’s got a ton of different uses.

(check this out – it’s pretty rad if you’re into green baby stuff. Not like GREEN babies, because that’s just awk)

Let’s get to the good stuff, shall we? Here’s how to clean with baking soda:

1) How To Clean With Baking Soda: Fire Retardant. If you’re prone to grease fires in the kitchen, sprinkling some baking soda on the fire can put the fire out.

2) How To Clean With Baking Soda: The Fridge. So you get some funky smelling shit in your fridge. It happens. A really simple way to reduce those nasty odors is to throw (read: place) a box of baking soda into the fridge, freezer or stinky cupboard to absorb the odors.

3) How To Clean With Baking Soda: Surfaces. To clean the surfaces in your kitchen, sprinkle a lightly wet cloth with baking soda, wipe the surface, then rinse it clean with fresh water. To get rid of super stubborn stains, make a paste using three parts baking soda to one part water, rub the paste into the stain, then rinse with warm water.

4) How To Clean With Baking Soda: Burned pans. We’ve all (raises both hands) burned some food to the bottom of a pan. One of the best ways to get that nasty shit gone is to sprinkle the bottom of the pan with baking soda, then soak overnight in hot water. Makes the nasty food easier to scrub clean.

5) How To Clean With Baking Soda: Hair Stuffs. To clean out your hairbrushes and combs (who the nuts uses combs?)(don’t answer that), clean ‘em with a solution of baking soda.

6) How To Clean With Baking Soda: Clogged Drains. Very little is grosser than clogged drains – so avoid ‘em by pouring a quarter of a cup of baking soda down ‘em once a week. Be sure to rinse the drain super carefully with loads of hot water.

7) How To Clean With Baking Soda: Laundry. Substitute half the normal amount of laundry detergent with baking soda – keeps clothes supa fresh.

8) How To Clean With Baking Soda: Kids Toys. One of the harder things about parenting is keeping kid’s crap clean. Why? Because they’re germ factories. So make a mixture using a quarter cup baking soda in one quart of warm water and submerge their germy toys in them. Then rinse the toys off with clean water.

9) How To Clean With Baking Soda: Litter Box. We all know cat poo stinks. So sprinkle some baking soda in the litter box to help remove some of the nasty stench from the house.

10) How To Clean With Baking Soda: Carpets. So your carpets stink. Happens. Luckily, you don’t have to live with it. Sprinkle the carpets with baking soda, let stand for over fifteen minutes, then vacuum up. Repeat this as needed.

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What are some other ways you can clean with baking soda? I’m all ready to get down and dirty with green cleaning. Wait – that sounded weird.
 


Oct 23

Frugal Living Tips: Getting More From Your Groceries

Now we’re all aware that I am no cook. I don’t even play one on television (although I do play the television wife of many, many antiheroes), so I won’t pretend that I’m any expert on grocery budgets. But I am learning about taking care of my grocery budget so I don’t wind up (as I’ve done this month) with no cash leftover to pay for groceries. It’s a process, not an event. This is what I’m learning about getting more from your groceries.

1) Getting More From Your Groceries: Google It – I’m a huge fan of Google. It allows me to self-diagnose things like testicular cancer as well as scoring some rad coupons, which make me happy in the pants. But if you’re sitting there at 8PM, trying to figure out what the nuts to do with an item or two from your pantry, plug it into Google with the word “recipe” after it and see what comes up. You’ll figure out something to do with those random lemons sitting in your (read: my) fridge.

2) Getting More From Your Groceries: Beat Freezer Burn. I don’t know HOW many packs of meat I’ve gone through over the years, shoving it in the freezer when I realized I had to cook or freeze the stuff. Problem is, every time I managed to pull it out again, it was so covered in freezer burn that no one in their right mind will ever eat it. The solution? Buy smaller quantities and only buy what you will eat that week. If you go in bulk for something like meat, carefully divide it up into single servings and freeze those, planning to use them in the following weeks.

3) Getting More From Your Groceries: Carefully Buy In Bulk. While it sounds like a great idea (sorta like the time I made coffee with Redbull – not such a great idea, by the by) at the time, a deal is a deal ONLY if you’re going to use it. So don’t overbuy stuff unless you and your family truly will eat it – not because it’s on a super-sale that you simply cannot pass up.

4) Getting More From Your Groceries: Get Creative. Most of us have animals of some type – I have a cat, no dogs – and some of the stuff that we end up tossing out because there’s not enough to save or it wasn’t particularly tasty can be fed to our animals. Or, for example, my parents dogs, who are always pleased to see me coming with a bag of food for them.

5) Getting More From Your Groceries: Plan Meals Out. I’m actually not a half-bad planner, but as previously stated, I suck at cooking. I wish I were joking. But planning out meals is one easy way to make sure that you buy only the food you’re going to be eating for the week while avoiding the temptation to just “order a pizza” or impulse shopping.

6) Getting More From Your Groceries: Shop The Sales. Most of the major grocery chains offer online circulars to avoid cutting down trees – and to reach people like me, who don’t get newspapers delivered – which means that if you can combine your meal plans WHILE seeing what’s on sale, throwing in a coupon here or there, you can totally cut down the cost of groceries.

7) Getting More From Your Groceries: Ignore Convenience Foods. While it’s great to look at those bags of pasta and sauce in the store, they’re not usually a whole lot better than the stuff you could make for yourself. And they’re more expensive per serving than anything you’d make. Like spaghetti and meat sauce? Google it and you’ll find a recipe that works for you.

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What are some other ways to get more from your groceries? Any way for me to get a hot bag boy to come cook for me?
 

(would really like a vacation right about now, Pranksters)

(Hey, a girl can dream)

Since this IS a deals site, here’s a deal!



Oct 18

Frugal Living Tips: Halloween On The Cheap

What I REALLY wanted to say was “dirty deeds done dirt cheap” but that makes almost zero sense when talking about Halloween on the Cheap. Now, when we were kids (yes, I pulled my Geritol out to say that after I paused my Matlock marathon), if you wanted a kick-ass Halloween costume, you had to make it. GASP. Like with your own hands and stuff. Which, for the record, meant that you usually looked dumb.

Now, though, shortly after the summer toys go away from the stores, Halloween shit goes up. And when it does, it’s not an aisle or two at The Target; no. It’s sprawling displays of creepy-crawlies, costumes fit for a princess (or a Batgirl, as the case may be), decorations as far as the eye can see. I don’t know if it’s me or what, but I don’t remember Halloween being such a big deal when we were kids. You’d hang a crappy-looking sheet-ghost, carve some mother-humping pumpkins and BAM! HAPPY HALLOWEEN, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Today, I can see entire yards devoted to Halloween – the creepier/cuter, the better. I even saw a Halloween snow globe thingy on someone’s lawn the other day which made me hyperventilate. Those things scare me harder than clowns (don’t ask. Just don’t).

So what do you do when you heart Halloween but are all, “I’m a little broke now?” You do Halloween On The Cheap.

Here’s how (and please, leave your suggestions in the comments, because WOAH I love Halloween and WOAH it’s expensive):

Halloween On The Cheap:

Halloween On The Cheap: Tip One – AVOID PINTEREST like it’s an Oregon Trail Disease. Sure, they have pretty pictures and step-by-step instructions for making the most perfect garden gnome costume for your dog, but really, if you’re not a good crafty person, it’s going to cost you MILLIONS (okay, tens, at the very least) of dollars to get the costume working, and even then? Those things rarely look like the picture, if’n you’re me.

Halloween On The Cheap: Tip Two – Find a discount Halloween shop or use Goodwill to get a little creative with your purchases for costumes.

I used to be all into the Pottery Barn Kids catalog because their costumes are BEYOND full of the awesome, but I kinda figured that with the recent budget cutbacks, it’s probably wise to RECYCLE the crap outta those costumes BEFORE I get my heart set on something I should be spending on rent.

Goodwill has a whole Halloween aisle, and if you’ve got time, you can totally go through the racks to find the perfect costume for the kids (or you).

Halloween On The Cheap: Tip Three - Don’t hesitate to reuse the stuffs you may have lying around to make some cute crafty shit for your house. Now, I’m not crafty, so this is one of those times I go without or search the dollar bin at Target. Any crafters out there wanna share me some idears?

Halloween On The Cheap: Tip Four – this tip requires a little planning ahead, but it’s worth it to pick up some stuff you can use for Halloween decorations at garage – or church – sales. Likewise, Goodwill has stuffs you can totally use. Goodwill may replace Target as my boyfriend.

Halloween On The Cheap: Tip Five – wait until AFTER THIS Halloween to go shopping for Halloween stuffs for next year. Yeah, it may mean you have no wreath this year, but next year, if you can remember where you stowed the extra stuffs, you’ll be set.

Halloween on the Cheap: Tip Six -  Beg, borrow and steal. Okay, don’t steal because that’s a BAD idea and even as Becky, Herself, I know that stealing = bad. But see if friends or family have some extra Halloween crap lying around for you to use. When all else fails, improvise. While you’re at it, ask your crafty friend about making crafty Halloween shit.

Halloween On The Cheap: Tip Seven – use what you got around to make costumes and add some accessories. For example, Imma be Catwoman this year, at the kids request, which means I need something to wear.  A quick Amazon search found me this:

halloween on the cheapThat’s not only slutty, it’s also nearly 50 bucks, which is far too rich for my blood. But wait, I thought, as I looked at the picture more closely, the wheels of my addled brain churning: I have similar boots and really, I just need a cat mask. Wonder how much one of those puppies (pun intended) goes for.

Five bucks. I could get the whole thing for five bucks, without being creepy, slutty or just plain weird (shut up).

Halloween on the Cheap: Tip (I Forget What 8 Was For) – buying the amount of candy you can expect for those delightfully adorable wee ones who come trick-or-treating can be exorbitant. Which is why you should do what I’m doing – buy the candy the DAY OF Halloween. Sure, the selection might not be as good, but by this time, it’ll be marked down substantially. Even better is if you can find a coupon for the candy and match it to the discounted candy. It’s a total win!



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Any other idears for doing Halloween on the Cheap (besides, of course, locking your doors and keeping your lights off)
Oct 15

How To: Spoil Your Pet Without Breaking The Bank

Let me start by saying that the dog was Sunshine’s idea. He snuck off one day when he was supposedly working and went to the rescue shelter and adopted our baby. Now that she’s here, there’s no way I’m giving her up. My puppy is my baby, and I love her very much; so, NO, you can’t have her. But now that she’s a part of the family, I had to learn how to spoil my pet without breaking the bank.

When your pet is part of the family, naturally you want to give the puppy/kitty/insert-animal-here all the things. Well, I do, anyway. I am constantly looking for little ways to give my puppy a special treat or luxury, but that gets expensive fast. Especially when your puppy is like mine – she lives to systematically destroy toys, leashes, and more toys and leashes.

This is how I’ve learned how to spoil my pet without breaking the bank.

I have discovered that Marshall’s, TJMaxx, and Ross are fabulous places to find nice pet stuffs and spoil my pet without breaking the bank.

I constantly buy my retractable leashes at these discount stores, because they offer them for a fraction of the price of similar items at pet stores. I’ve also gotten sweaters for my puppy there for far less than sweaters at the mega pet stores, and pennies on the dollar compared to the prices at pet boutiques. I occasionally find nice toys for my baby at these stores, and gourmet treats, and I even got a great deal on a couple of those poop-bag dispensers and little baggies to refill them.

I once got my doggie some shoes at one of these stores for about a quarter of what the pet mega-stores ask for them, which wound up being a good deal since my puppy hates the shoes. (I realize that it isn’t a deal if it doesn’t get used, but I can’t call it a waste of money when it is so entertaining to watch her try to walk in the puppy shoes.)

My favorite finds from these discounters include a luggage set (tote bag with traveling food bowl and water bottle) and the most adorable little doggie-bed THAT MY PUPPY ACTUALLY LOVES.

How To: Spoil Your Pet Without Breaking The Bank

Tell me that bed isn’t the most precious thing ever for my precious baby.

A little bed shaped like some sort of sea-shell/soup-bowl hybrid. That bed? Under $20 at Ross (I think $13.99 + tax, but I don’t remember), which is an amazing deal on something the dog actually uses as a bed instead of a toy-box or chew-toy.

(Yes, my dog has a doggie-bed that serves as a toy-box most days, until she decides she is enraged with it and drags it across the floor chewing on it and pulls on the broken zipper to get the foam out.)

Another great place to find doggie things? WalMart.

Normally, I hate The WalMart. It is just so big and so filled with stuffs, and as my hairdresser once said in the late 90′s, “How many canister sets with geese painted on them do people really fucking need?” However, with $5 sweaters and inexpensive little puppy-sized blankets and little doggie puffer vests with (faux) fur trimmed hoods, well, you can see why I would choose to buy puppy things from them. I also love their toy selection for dogs. I have found rope toys and squeaky stuffed toys for $1 each, 3-packs of tiny tennis balls for my tiny little girl for $1, and squeaky loofas for a few bucks.

When your dog is as systematic in her destruction of toys as mine is, $1 toys are the way to go.

Dollar stores of all kinds also carry inexpensive pet toys, which is another way I can give my puppy something new to destroy by simply digging the change out from under the car seats. Another great, yet inexpensive, toy found at dollar stores? Those little laser pointers. $1 each, and entertain the puppy (or kitty) for hours on end.

When my dog destroys a stuffed squeaky toy, I break out my cheap little sewing kit (needles, thread, needle threader, thimble, tiny scissors, all in a handy little case; only a couple of dollars at the WalMart or Dollar stores), poke the stuffing back through the hole, poke the squeaker back through the hole, and stitch it back up. My puppy doesn’t care if the thread doesn’t exactly match the color of the toy, so it doesn’t matter what color thread I use. This helps me get miles of use out of a simple $1-$3 toy. This trick is especially handy on those moments-of-weakness that are otherwise known as $15 toys purchased at the doggie-day-care boutique, because my dog destroys these expensive toys as quickly as she destroys the cheapie ones.

Because my dog is such a picky eater, when it comes time to buy treats I tend to stick to the ones I know she likes. I go online and search for coupons for these treats (I find them quite often, thank heaven), and grab them while I’m Krogering on the cheap.

One other place where coupons can help you get pet things on the cheap? Bed, Bath, and Beyond. My mom hoards those 20%-off-one-item coupons, because BB&B accepts them even after they’ve expired. I found a set of Puggs (puppy Uggs) on a clearance rack there for $9.99, and could have used the coupon on them, had my mom been willing to give me one of her coupons. She wouldn’t, because she said she would NOT participate in me torturing my puppy. However, this incident serves as a good example of how, sometimes, you can find great things for your pet in unexpected places.

This is how I spoil my pet without breaking the bank.

If any of you have more ideas, please share them with me, because I can’t stop shopping for my little doggie .

Hrms – I wonder if I can send him to Disney World…